arrival of daniel kaien - a surprising freebirth
we're still abit shellshocked here, but very happy and pleased to welcome baby daniel earthside, freebirthed and caught in our toilet by a very surprised and bewildered mama, after only 2 hours of "is this diarrhoea or labor?) =)..
at exactly 38 weeks, i had an antenatal appointment with my midwife, then walked around the shops with some difficulty for 2 hours, came home, feeling very sulky and emotional cos i was hungry but didn't feel like eating.. lay on the couch all teary until andrew made me some steak.
at 11.30pm, i started feeling abdominal cramping quite badly, and ran off to begin 2 hours of sitting on the toilet in agony. i thought it was a dodgy batch of custard giving me diarrhoea, plus there weren't any usual start-of-labour signs (no mucous plug or show, no waters), so andrew just went to bed while i tried to get comfy but repeatedly ran to the toilet.
the pressure remained and got seriously agonising, and at about 1am i started to believe that this was labour pains, but much much more intense that i had expected or prepared for - about 3mins of unbearable pressure, with a minute of only a measure of relief in between.
i kept thinking, while i was clutching the back of the toilet (sitting back to front), how unprepared i was for any of this pain, how i was wrong to think i could do this natural birth thing, and wondering how early a hospital would do an epidural.
i finally woke andrew at 1.45am, shaking in pain and telling him to call the hospital and arrange an epidural. of course he kept asking if i was sure and how this wasn't what i had wanted, but i just couldn't handle it anymore. (after all, i thought this was only prelabor, and a foretaste of 18 hours of this and more.. Of course, afterward i find out this all was full labor/transition already).
then, while he was on the phone, i staggered-ran to the toilet, and found myself pushing from an indescribable level of pressure..
something exploded out from me and slammed into the water.. later i realise it was my waters breaking and being expelled with so much force it hit the water like a solid object. then as i kept pushing, it felt like / i thought i was pooing a huge solid round poo or that i was herniating an organ.. but i had to push anyway, despite having no idea what it was or what was happening to my body.
i reached back to feel my bum (which was where i thought it was coming out), and when i touched his fuzzy head i realised right away what it was. there was no way i would consider holding back though, with how strong the pushing pressure was, even if i was worried it would blow my cervix open, i had no choice or desire to do anything but push with all my might, crying out loudly.
i just kept pushing, while remembering to guard and support my perineum with my hand. and as his body slithered out into my hands in the toilet bowl (but above the water), all in one go, i called out to andrew.
so there's me, sitting on the toilet, holding a slippery baby, and him standing there, both of us stunned and bewildered and unable to say anything but "oh my god".
finally i tell andrew to call an ambulance, while holding him face down along my arm, noting that he's a deep pink, and tickling his chest to note that he's breathing and muttering.
then i get off the toilet, kneel on the floor holding him, while andrew throws towels around us. i tell him to call the midwives, and i have confused conversations with them asking what i should do now. in the meantime, the placenta slides out with a bit of a blood gush. but the ambos arrive, and as the midwives gave me no clear direction (both having been woken from sleep), i go off with them to get baby checked out.
we spend the morning in hospy just waiting for the shops to open to buy a carseat before we can leave (well, we didn't think we'd need it before =)), with grandparents visiting, us catching a few naps, and baby and me being subject to lots of routine things by a mix of lovely and not-so midwives, and a verry typical doctor (rolleyes). but we get away unharmed and mostly undisturbed.
he's wonderful.. so far he's slept the whole time, through multiple family visits and lots of noise. feeding's been easy, and he only wakes at night for feeds every 4 hours, so we've gotten plenty of rest. his face looks like a little grape... he's lovely =)
and this birth was nothing like what i had expected or prepared for (18 hours of prelabor, transition; home birth with water pool, 2 midwives, doula, all the little accessories - birth ball, water injections, aromatherapy, relaxation cds, heat packs, etc etc..)
but i feel incredibly fortunate to have had a birth like this. intense and fast, and so unusual.
and i can see how an empowered birth helps you feel like an empowered mum and caregiver..
and a big bonus - no tears! just the slightest graze inside. i felt no soreness anywhere even immediately after (except my uterus contracting back to size). intact and feeling incredible =)
my dan-dan, freebirthed into my arms 2am 16 Jan 07 =)
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Awesome stuff,
