A birth

[Brontide]

Prologue

A few weeks before the birth I wrote:

My no.3 babe is due soon... anytime now I guess...

I don't know where this baby will be born. I want to birth at home but still have crazy fears about things going wrong. In my heart I think I just want to be left alone or have DH there if he is in the right frame of mind. I don't want spectators. I want to be able to be quiet enough that my other kids sleep through it but screamed until my throat hurt birthing my other 2 babes. I know my body can do this. I've done it twice before with no major dramas, but yk... the doubts are still there.

My support team:

I have a midwife, who I trust a reasonable amt, and she has gone out of her way to ensure she will be available for my birth. She is a BC midwife and cannot attend homebirths, but she has done all my antenatal appts at home. I haven't been to the birth centre for the entire pregnancy. I know that for the sake of her job she has to adhere to particular BC guidelines, and it scares me. I don't like the atmosphere at the BC, but I do like her. Yeah, that's what it boils down to I guess... I really like her, but not who she works for and the guidelines she works under.

I also have a doula, who I trust to know what I want and to advocate for me if required. She has knowledge beyond my expectations and is happy to attend a freebirth.

And my darling husband, who *doesn't read* but is almost half way through Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. He's still not keen on the idea of freebirth but I think he'll cope okay if we end up going there.

Anyway, I think I'm almost at peace with the idea of being totally undecided about everything. I just want to be holding my perfect new baby in my arms.

The Arrival

It was 2 days past my EDD and I was feeling a bit crampy at bedtime but no more so than most evenings for the previous 2 or 3 weeks. I’d had a shitty day and was feeling headachey. I went to bed at about 11:30pm after scoffing some chocolate. Chocolate usually gives me a migraine but I figured I was getting one anyway, so what the hell…

I woke up at about 1:30am with a full-blown migraine and still feeling crampy in my belly. I lay in bed for a while but knew I wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep. I’d had pretty bad insomnia most nights for a few weeks and my head was hurting too much to sleep anyway. I got up and had to go to the loo for a poo (which was weird... I never poo at night). I had some Panadol and a drink. I was annoyed that we’d run out of Panadeine.

I decided to watch another episode of The West Wing on the downstairs DVD player. I went and found the disc in the upstairs DVD player and went back downstairs to put it on. No friggin batteries in the remote, grrr, so back upstairs to get the other remote. (We have 2 DVD players the same). Back downstairs again and the remote still didn’t work. Faaarrrrk. Remembered that we actually have two different DVD players now. Found the right DVD player remote and it still didn’t work. Broke the stupid battery cover trying to open it. No batteries inside and the bloody thing took AAAs not AAs like all our other ones so couldn’t swap them. By this time I was feeling like I was in some bizarre comedy skit. I gave up on the remote and used the buttons on the front of the DVD player. :P

I was feeling a bit more crampy as this was going on so heated myself a wheat bag for my belly (not the first time I’d done this over the previous few weeks) and finally sat down to watch The West Wing. I had trouble concentrating because my head was throbbing and my belly was aching. Persevered with The West Wing for maybe 15 mins then got up and paced around a bit. My head hurt so much.

At 2:30am I decided to wake DH to give me a back/shoulder/neck massage which sometimes helps when I have a migraine. I told him I was having contractions but they weren’t very bad and they’d probably fizzle out again. He gave me a massage then came downstairs with me. I was having definite contractions now, rather than just an achey, crampy feeling but still wasn’t convinced this was the real thing. I paced around the house. I ended up upstairs again at some stage and asked DH to rub my neck again. He started and I told him to stop because I couldn’t concentrate on making the contractions not painful. Up until then I’d been forcing each contraction to feel orgasmic rather than painful. Chrissy Amphlett was singing “It’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…” in my head.

Around about then I asked DH to remind me why I was doing this. I half thought at the time “These are transition thoughts. I can’t be in transition.” I was really hot and took my top off. For the next contraction I felt the need to kneel down on the floor next to the bed and my waters went pop. I don’t think DH was in the room at the time so when he came back in I told him and asked him to get the picnic rug (one of those plastic-backed ones) out of the car so I didn’t make a mess of the carpet. He rushed out to get the rug (maybe 10 steps from our bedroom) and brought it back in and I knelt down on it after we got my wet jarmies off. DH went back out to close the boot of the car and heard me roaring. He rushed back in to find the baby’s head out. I’d had a very sudden urge to push. I was supporting the baby’s head with my hand and panting to catch my breath, waiting for the next burst of energy. DH and I both supported him as his shoulders made their way out, the rest of his body slithering out behind them.

The baby was on the floor between my legs, looking very pink and healthy but not crying. I realised he had the cord around his neck twice, so I untangled it and he had a big cry. He was a bit gurgly so I faced him slightly downwards to help drain the gloop out of him. I asked DH to get a blanket to keep him warm and we wrapped it partly around him, but still with his skin against mine. After a couple of minutes I remembered to look at the clock. It was just after 3:30am.



DH and I were both shocked that it all happened so suddenly, and so happy and relieved that the baby was fine. DH took some video and a few photos and I asked him to go and wake DS1, who then came in to meet his little bro.

I was keeping an eye on my blood loss because I’d come close to a PPH after the birth of DS2 so was a smidge paranoid about it happening again. I was still kneeling on the rug and I was feeling big gushes of blood. I knew that if I could get the placenta to come out I could eat a bit of it and the bleeding would most probably subside fairly quickly. I tried encouraging the baby on to my breast but he was still wild from his birth journey and not yet ready for a feed. I hadn’t felt any placenta-expelling contractions but tried pushing gently a few times to see if it would come. It didn’t.

I was concerned, but not at all panicky, about the blood loss. I said to DH that he should probably call an ambulance because I felt I was losing too much. He did, and they were quick to arrive. I was feeling okay when they came in. My blood pressure was good but I was still kneeling on the picnic rug and my legs had gone numb. They had a quick look at the baby and confirmed that he was fine (which we knew). They asked DH to call the birth centre midwife to let her know what had happened and then they talked to her and she talked to me, saying that I really should transfer in to the BC as I was bleeding and the placenta wasn’t coming away. It must have been about 4:00 by then because they were talking half hour placenta deadlines. I wasn’t too keen on transferring if I didn’t need to but I was starting to feel a bit shocky so I didn’t take too much convincing.

I’m not really sure what happened next so some of this might be in the wrong order. I think the ambos helped me get my very numb legs out from under me and as soon as they did I started to feel sick and dizzy and revolting. They lay me down on the floor and asked me if DH could hold the baby. They took my BP again and it had dropped enough for them to start moving quickly. DH took the baby and sat on the bed next to where I was lying. At some stage they asked if they could cut the cord, and that they would leave it long and I agreed. I vaguely remember DH cutting it. They inserted a cannula in my hand (the most painful part of the night) hooked me up to an IV and pumped fluids into me for a while. After I started to feel better they helped me onto the trolley. I tried pushing the placenta out one more time before getting on the trolley but it didn’t want to budge. Someone passed the baby back to me and we headed out to the ambulance. I was so relieved they let the baby come with me. I know some ambos here insist the baby travels separately. DH stayed home, woke DS2 and he and the kids drove over to meet me at the BC.

It was 4:30 by the time I made it into the ambulance, about an hour since the baby had been born. In the ambulance one of the **** suggested I gently palpate my belly to see where the placenta was. They didn’t want to interfere with it, which was good. It was still highish up and to the right. They got me to try giving another gentle push, which I did but it still wouldn’t budge.

When we arrived at the BC, my BC midwife was there to meet us. The ambos helped me to the bed, had a chat with the MW, said goodbye, and disappeared out of the room. The MW checked me out and asked if I’d had any more contractions just as I started to have one, and out popped the placenta. I hadn’t had any synto. She checked me for tears and said I just had a small graze, so nothing worth worrying about. She hooked up another bag of fluid and let that do its thing. I had 2L in total. The MW cut up some placenta for me to eat. It tasted like blood.

DH and the boys had arrived and we took photos. DS2 was a little freaked out by it all but calmed down after a while and started singing lullabies to his little bro.

We phoned our parents to tell them our news and I SMSed my doula to tell her what she’d missed. I had some toast and a shower and at about 8:00am our family of 5 headed home with the placenta.

Epilogue

I am really happy with DS3’s birth including the transfer, which was in no way traumatic. The ambulance **** and midwife were incredibly kind and respectful towards us.

DH was awesome through the whole thing, with not a hint of panic. He has made a point of correcting all the rellies when they call him a hero for d.livering the baby. I love him so much. *mwah*

As for my new little creature… well, he’s just absolutely perfectly wonderfully perfect.

[Beatrice]

Ha! So only now do I figure out who you are More congratulations

[Quies]

Thanks for sharing your story, glad to hear that the transfer wasn't traumatic and amazing that you *******ed your baby all by yourself.

[korahblue]

Awww congratulations.. how lucky you were to be surrounded by such people

[moo]

That's a beautiful story. Welcome to your new boy.

[Harmony]

Awesome, thanks for sharing

I laughed at the bit about the remotes I did a similar thing this morning trying different passwords on a website...I had the email address wrong

[Táhirih]

wow brontide... congratulations again. i am glad that you are happy with the transfer and its experience

[pips]

A beautiful story. Thanks for sharing

[The Morrigan]

Lovely stuff WHen you're ready I'd love an update in your final fears thread to see how you worked through that.

[virtualmeg]

Awesome story Brontide - thanks so much for sharing!