My vagina is calling my baby.
She feels unfinished, like birth is still happening.
No one told her it was over.

She began to stretch and prepare
She dreamt of the glowing, growing, grimace
Of the head, being blessed, as it travelled to earth
Through the oldest tunnel, the first cuddle

But in the hospital, the greengowns assaulted her.
"I'll just attach this.."
NOOOO we all shouted
My vagina reeled with horror.
They want to use me to get to this fragile being?

One greengown, a nightmare, a vagina-hater
Pushed so hard we saw stars
We screamed, my woman and I.
We struggled to get her out of us.
She stayed.
She broke me and she broke my woman.

No honeymoon fresh vagina for this vaginal bypasser.
No blessing for my baby's head.
No mingling of life forces, no greeting of flesh to flesh.
Just a drugged out zombie mother, seeing through a haze.
Smiling so everyone would think she cared for this stranger.

Sometimes birth just is what it is.
My vagina still waits for the pressure and the burning.
Even if it comes one day,
Will she feel the birth that didn't end
Is over?
Can someone let her know?
I'm too ashamed to tell her she wasn't needed.

- Janet

 

My vagina is screaming in a big round silent "O"...
My vagina is caught
like a deer in the headlights
And my vagina is SCREAMING "NO!"
But they have tricked my vagina
They have taken all of her power away
They have blinded my vagina with white lab coats
and a title behind their name

My vagina is swollen
ripe and sweet,
My vagina is changing colors as she tightens
My vagina is tightening, she is stretching out
She is opening like a sweet life giver
And she is doing so good

My vagina is not afraid of pain
My vagina is perfect
That sweet baby head fitting round and down
Deep and deep my baby slides
My vagina is pulsing open

My vagina is screaming "NO!"
My vagina is screaming
She is pulling back as a cold hand comes
My vagina is filled with black fear "NO!"
I can DO IT!! I know I can DO IT!!
My vagina is SCREAMING "Please! Don't cut me!"

My vagina is too close to a blade
My vagina is being pierced by a needle
She is numb
My vagina is being cut
Other people seem to say they know better
They know better than my vagina
So they cut her

Doctors cut deep down
They cut my vagina
My perfect pink pulsing stretching
My perfect baby catching vagina
They cut down through the skin
They cut down into the muscle

"O" Oh no... oh no...oh God NO!.
But it will stitch up better
My vagina is screaming "BETTER FOR WHO?"
Not for my vagina
Not for my vagina

My vagina is pissed off!!
She is pissed off for all of the other mutilated vaginas
For all of the men and women who LOVE to cut vaginas
She screams and she yells

Other vaginas nearby hear her
We are a chorus of screaming vaginas
"NO MORE!" You can't do this anymore...
My vagina is so strong now
She is a goddess
My vagina bears her scar

My vagina has a scar
A wound
A manmade vagina wound
My vagina was stitched too small
And my vaginas wound was named
A name that others vaginas know too

The “happy husband” stitch.
But my vagina is NOT happy
so ain't nobody happy

My vagina learns quickly
My vagina stays home now when birth comes
She swims
She soaks in the water
My vagina speaks out strong and loud
She will NEVER be afraid again

Dr. JM Thorp, in Episiotomy: Can its routine use be defended? says, "There is little evidence to support routine use of episiotomy. This procedure may well increase the incidence of third- and fourth-degree lacerations. There are few data to support the premise that this procedure prevents pelvic relaxation." (95% of 4th degree tears are from episiotomies that have torn too far)

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists say that episiotomy "is not always necessary" and "should not be considered routine." However, estimates claim that the episiotomy rate in the United States is 65-95%, depending on the parity (number of babies previous born).

Research has shown that women with spontaneous tears generally recover in the same or less time and often with less pain and fewer complications than those with episiotomies. In addition, women who get episiotomies are more likely to end up with serious tears that go close to or through the rectum (known as third- or fourth-degree lacerations) than those who deliver without being cut. Tears that go through the rectum result in more perineal pain after the birth, require a significantly longer recovery period, and are more likely to affect the strength of the pelvic floor muscles. And because a tear into the rectum disrupts the anal sphincter, these women also tend to have problems with anal incontinence. Finally, women who have episiotomies tend to have increased blood loss at the time of delivery, greater pain during recovery, weaker pelvic floor muscles at three months after delivery, and more discomfort when they start having sex again.

It takes 3-4 minutes off of the length of crowning. I have never attended a birth where that was needed or wanted. This is a cut that is being ignored. It is violent and fear based, and cuts through all of the muscles and nerves of the perineum. I just thought that you might like to know.

My vagina thanks you for listening.

Sarah Biermeier, CD (DONA)
Homebirthing mother and aspiring homebirth midwife, doula and vagina advocate