by Leigh Holman

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child it came as a shock.  We had talked about having another child but I had thought that that was years off.  For goodness sake I hadn’t even had a period since the birth of my first child Jack only 11 months ago.  It certainly wasn’t in my plan to have 2 kids 18 months apart, but nature has a way of deciding these things for you.

It turned out that quiet a few women I knew were pregnant at the same time with similar gaps and as we all discussed what was in store for our growing families they started talking about weaning.  I was speechless, I didn’t know how long I thought I was going to breast feed for but I knew that Jack was not ready to wean he was still a baby himself.

As the months passed these women all weaned their children and I started reading about breastfeeding through pregnancy and beyond.  I read about my milk drying up, about sore nipples, worries about who gets the colostrum, which gets what boobs when and all manner of positions.

My milk did dry up almost completely, my nipples got tender and I even started to sometimes dislike feeding but when I came down to it he wasn’t ready to stop and neither was I.

Breastfeeding as much as being a bond between he and I was a mothering tool I wasn’t ready to do without, at bed time in particular with a breastfeed and a cuddle Jack could sleep anywhere, in any bed.  I also worried that I could have the same massive oversupply problem that I had when he was born and it seemed a lot easier to continue feeding through my pregnancy rather than dust off my pump and drain my boobs that way.

As my due date got closer I started asking the who, where and how questions and a wise women said to me whoever wanted a feed got the whichever boob was the fullest at the time and all the rest worked itself out, it was the best advice I could have gotten.

Hamish our second son was born at home in the middle of winter and as I put this new child to my breast my midwife said ‘you need to remember he isn’t a toddler, you will need to let him learn the same way as you did your first’. 

Over the next 24 hours I remembered how tricky it is to find the rhythm and technique with a newborn, we were struggling, his suck seemed weak and he wasn’t taking enough boob into his mouth. 

On the second night he was getting very fussy, I knew he was trying but I attached him over and over and it always hurt, after what felt like a million attempts I decided to just let him go, I grit my teeth and let him get what milk he could, I thought that if he could just spend some time sucking he would get the hang of it.  After 20 minutes he fell off the boob, full, despite his bad attachment.

My poor nipple was blistered and sore but I let Jack have that boob, he was able to take it back past his hard palate quickly and Hamish could have the other side.

It was risky, but Hamish did figure it out in that 20 minutes and he fed beautifully from that time on.  Jack fed from the sore boob and he was so happy about all the extra milk he took direction to be gentle and emptied it.  Jack fed off the sore boob for a week, a few times a day until it healed and once it was better I started swapping them both around (I didn’t want a lopsided chest).

In those first weeks feeding 2 at the same time was a godsend during witching hour, or when my husband was out and they both needed comfort, but I was never able to find a position that worked well for all of us, so do it rarely now.  I was starting to feel drained from all the feeds so I have gently encouraged Jack to only have 2 feeds a day. 

We are 6 months into our tandem feeding journey and I wouldn’t change a thing, one of my most beautiful memories is having them both in my lap feeding and watching Jack reach over to lovingly stroke his brother, I watched that and I knew we would be ok.