The birth of Georgia Lily was everything I dreamed birthing could be. I think the weeks leading up to her birth were a psychological challenge for me. At 32 weeks she was in a breech position and while I know that babies can be born breech vaginally, it still through me a curve ball that I hadn’t anticipated and cast doubt into my mind that maybe I wont get this homebirth after all, I tried moxibustion which on the fourth attempt worked, it was also the day after I had decided that I was having a homebirth whether or not my baby was breech. I had a great first birth in a hospital environment, but I also had midwives that were friends and knew exactly what I wanted, which was basically to leave me alone. I knew my body could do this, I had no doubt in my mind….. Or so I thought.

I had a psychic reading done at 32 weeks also and this woman I have been to before has been extremely accurate, she told me to prepare for a hospital birth as my blood pressure would give me problems and I would have to consider going in. At the time I was under a lot of stress, with a group I am involved in and I was stressed out. I was spewing with her reading, I was not having any of it and she said to me…”do what you would tell other women to do Amanda”. (Being a midwife). So I did, I stopped everything that was causing me stress, I stopped my involvement with my group, I stopped working, I also refused to go back to the doctor for some blood results I was waiting on as just the thought was making me fret, and I concentrated on my family and my growing baby the most important things to me.

When my due date came and went I was relaxed and ready, when nine days passed (which I know is sooooo o.k) seeds of doubt crept back into my mind, was I somehow holding myself back, was I afraid of something? It is almost as if other people, those doubters in your mind are wishing for your experience to be bad just so they can say I told you so! It was with a bit of soul searching I had to get back to the basics, my body had conceived a baby, it had grown a beautiful baby for ten months, my body knew this baby had to come out eventually and I damn well knew that my body knew what to do and would do it right. That night I did some relaxation and visualisation and gave myself and my baby permission to experience a joyful birth. The next morning my labour started and all of my doubts and fears disappeared. I then could tell myself…I told you so!

So my contractions were around for the morning, not enough to have to concentrate really hard but enough to get myself and my ‘space’ prepared. My mum picked up my daughter (19 months) to spent some time at Nannies place at about 1.30pm and it was then I got cracking, contractions every two and a half minutes, I spent time standing leaning on the walls or the birth ball, listening to music and then decided to jump into my birth pool and from then never looked back, my midwife had come earlier in the day and was watching Mr and Mrs Smith on dvd, just letting me do my thing. The water was magic, I had spent majority of my first birth in the shower and that’s why I decided on a birth pool, but the bath was awesome, the weightlessness between contractions was great and the heat was soothing. I mean there is no denying that it hurts like hell but my endorphins were glorious and I was having a giggle between contractions, it’s a “you have to be there moment”.

The things i thought about between contractions was just amazing. My partner, sister and friend were all with me. My sister had a terrible birth experience 7 years ago and I wanted her to see how wonderful and normal having a baby could be. When I got to pushing a little while later, there seemed to be something holding me back. To me there didn’t seem to be any progress, I couldn’t feel her coming down. I changed positions several times trying to open my pelvis up more and had really bad pain on one side of my back, after what seemed like ages, I had an almighty contraction that lasted forever (two minutes at least), then it all happened at once, I felt her big movement down and my little girls head was born, her little hand was at the side of her face and waving for all to see, she then flipped under my body (I was kneeling) and both my partner and sister thought I was going to sit on her..hehe. I remember saying where is she, she’s not out…..and my midwife saying she’s gone round the front, pick her up.

It was then I felt her for the first time and I pulled her out of me and into my arms. That sensation is one that is still vivid and one I will never forget, to feel the release when pulling her out and up to me was glorious. We had done it, my baby and me and I felt so proud of myself. To see her in front of me and to have those I love around me in my own home and Georgias own bedroom was a truly wonderful occasion. She was born at 5.13pm, Hannah my other daughter came home and saw her “sissy’ as she calls her and then went to bed, I dont really think she expected that little thing to be there when she woke up mind you, but that’s a whole different story! Everything went off without a hitch, placenta was born, next to no blood loss and not even a graze to say ouch about!

I try not to even give thought to those people that dissapprove of ’homebirth’ or doubt my ability as a woman, it is hard though because they can have such a significant impact on you psychologically and I know now that I will never let anyone elses opinion impact on me again. I have a new found respect for my body. I know I can do anything and other women can too. Sadly im not sure what having another fab birth will do for my career as the thought of working in an environment that holds women back will be devastating to me. People say that I just need to be able to help the women I can have a great experience but i feel for all those women who go into in a hopsital that jag a “bad midwife or doctor that cant sit on his hands” But I will deal with that later, for now I wish to bath in the endorphins that are trapped in my memories, and as i have said before, I am glad I am a woman and have experienced joyous birth.

I want to mention too that my midwife was a friend and colleague i have worked with who thinks like i do! I also never had one raised blood pressure when checked by my midwife and in hindsight am grateful for the physic reading because it made me forget everything except what was really important to me, my family and having my baby!